英语笑话：学习一门外语的重要性

fiona

A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.
一天，一只猫妈妈领着4只小猫在路上走，却遇到了一只大狗。小猫们吓的蜷缩成了一团，这时猫妈妈吼出了一连串的汪汪声，大狗被吓跑了。

Turning to her kittens, the cat said, You see how important it is to know a second language.
猫妈妈转过身来对几个小猫说，孩子们，看看掌握一门外语是多么的重要呀！
词汇短语：

cowered 抖缩;蜷缩;畏缩
run into 遇见
例如： Turn right at the secondtraffic light, you will run into a Wal-mart. 第二个交通灯右转，你会遇到一个沃尔玛。
let out 发出
例如： let out a cry of pain 发出一声痛苦的叫声

fiona

How did you make your fortune?

I became the partner of a rich man. He had the money and I had the experience.

How did that help?

Now he has the experience and I  have the money.

你是怎么发财的？

我变成一个富人的合伙人，他有钱，我有经验。

那有什么用？

现在他有经验了，我有钱。

fiona

While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded（谴责，责难） my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . Mump umn Kmpfhm, was all I heard. Drew, I scolded, no one can understand a word you're saying. He says he wants some ketchup（番茄酱） , my husband said calmlyA woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, How in the world did you understand him?I'm a dentist, my husband explained. 在饭店吃饭的时候，我申斥我4岁的儿子，因为他满嘴食物在说话。 喔、呢，我听到的就是这些。杜鲁，我责备道，没人明白你在说什么。 他说他要一些番茄酱，我丈夫平静地说。 坐在旁边的一位妇女靠过来问道：你究竟如何明白他的话的呢？ 我是牙医。我丈夫解释道。

fiona

The Kings Brother国王的兄弟

A poor man, presenting himself before the King of Spain, asked his charity, telling him that he was his brother.Thinking desiring to know how he claimed kindred（家族，亲属关系） to him, the poor fellow replied, We are all descended from one common father and mother viz., Adam and Eve. Upon which the king gave him a little copper piece of money.The poor man began to be moan himself, saying, Is it possible that your Majesty should give no more than this to your brother? Away, away, replies the king: if all the brothers you have in the world give you as much as I have done, you'll be richer than I am. 一个穷汉去见西班牙国王，说自己是他的兄弟，求他施恩周济。国王想知道他何以攀认亲戚，穷汉回答说，我们有共同的祖先亚当和夏娃。听了这话，国王就给了他一个小铜子儿。于是穷人开始叫屈，说：难道您国王陛下就给兄弟这么一点点钱吗？走开，快走，国王回答，如果世界上你所有的兄弟们都像我这样给你一个铜板，你就比我还有钱了。

fiona

A Gentle Reminder 委婉提醒

Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?

Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, So, you want to switch seats?

婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？

他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：因此，你想交换座位吗？

fiona

英语笑话：Not too Bad不算太坏

"Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?"

"No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."

“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？”

“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，”他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。”

fiona

英语冷笑话：Good news or Bad news?

An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.
"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"
With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."

以为艺术家在一个画廊办了个展览，他问店主是否有人对他参展的画感兴趣。
“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息。”店主回答。
“先告诉我好消息。”画家要求道。
“好消息是一位绅士询问了你的作品，还问它是否会在你死后增。我告诉他会的，然后他买下了你所有的15幅画作。”
“那太棒了！”画家惊叹。“那么什么会是坏消息呢？”
店主想了想之后说：“问那个问题的是你的医生”。

fiona

钥匙还是接吻？Keys or Kiss?

A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on.

The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.

我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。他们都是新近来美国生活的。 在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后，他请全班同学给他挑出尺子，书本，钢笔等。课进行得井然有序，学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣，也很认真。后来轮到一 名来自意大利的学生，我的朋友说：“给我钥匙。”那人看起来非常吃惊，也有点手足无措。看到这种情况，我的朋友想是他没有听清楚，于是又重复了一遍：“给 我钥匙。”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着，他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下。
at a loss: 不知所措。

fiona

"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。


"When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."
“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”